Unrealistic Romance: The Insta-love Bug
This seems to happen more often in books than not. And I feel like this is an injustice of sorts. I’m not a big fan of romance to begin with. Sure, I don’t mind if Katsa and Po get all ‘let’s kiss since we haven’t seen each other in ages’. I don’t mind if Deuce and Fade kiss by candlelight. (I honestly don’t remember if that happened or not. Don’t blame me here…) I am perfectly fine with Tris and Four kissing intensely.
Those couples weren’t built off of the shaky foundations of…insta-love.
You won’t meet someone and immediately fall in love. Love at first sight is just…impossible.
Here is an article that says love at first sight is possible. Not completely fiction but not entirely fact either:
Studies have found that animals are more likely to mate with partners they’re genetically compatible with. It’s unclear whether this research applies to humans, but some scientists think we might be preprogrammed to spot “the one.” Romantic attraction might serve an evolutionary function: We seek out specific people who will be suitable mates, and we give everyone else the boot.
But meeting that special someone’s gaze and falling in love may be a bit more complicated.
Although about half the American population believes in love at first sight, not everyone falls head over heels right away.
Perhaps surprisingly, women aren’t always the romantics: One study found that men experience love at first sight more often than women. Researchers think that’s because men respond to physical cues more readily than women, and women tend to develop trust more gradually than men.
And a bit more on the love at first sight thing: Also, people might be more inclined to believe in love at first sight when they’re younger. A Gallup poll revealed that folks older than 50 are less likely than younger ones to think people can fall in love immediately (possibly because they’ve had more romantic relationships with different partners).
Here is another article: https://psychologies.co.uk/love/love-at-first-sight.html
These sites state that love at first sight is possible. Does it always happen this way? No. Not necessarily. Love at first sight is possible. Does it mean that it will always happen? No.
How does love at first sight relate to insta-love? In more ways than you might think. Insta-love is instant, spontaneous love. Maybe from love at first sight. Does that mean that insta-love couples can’t grow? No. I mean…Erris and Nim from ‘Magic Under Glass’ and ‘Magic Under Stone’ had that instant connection. Sure, Erris might have been an automaton at the time, but this couple grows into something more. Owen and Sienna from ‘Tumble & Fall’? They had past experiences together, but Sienna is a completely different person in the present. Do they last? Well, I guess you can say they did.
Are all romances a ‘Call Me Maybe’ experience where you look across the room and see the one? Nope! If it was that easy, that would be too much fun. And too easy. Love doesn’t work that way. You might have to go through terrible dates before finding the person you end up with.
I still don’t like this song…
For a girl who doesn’t believe in love, that is sure something. I don’t believe in love for me actually. For other people? I will fangirl and ship it like FedEx, people. I am not afraid to fangirl.
Do I think that insta-love is good for a book? No. Does it seem to appear? Yes. Do I think that love at first sight is impossible? Not necessarily. It isn’t the best basis for a relationship, but it seems to happen.
Though…love at first sight is sometimes mistaken for infatuation. Which is something you feel when you are a bit obsessed about a person. Perhaps, if love at first sight had telltale symptoms, you would understand it better.
In short, insta-love isn’t always the right way to go.
But. What do you think?